The Myths That Keep Us Home: What I Have Learned About Connecting With People While Traveling Solo
- Food Blogger Journey
- 3 days ago
- 10 min read
By Dirk Ebener - July 24, 2026
The Distance Between Wanting to Go and Going
Sometimes, the hardest journey is not traveling across continents, but moving from dreaming about a trip to truly believing we can go and connect with others once we arrive.
When I talk with people thinking about solo travel, I understand why their worries feel real. Heading into the unknown means trusting our planning, our problem-solving, and our courage when we cannot find the right words.
Most importantly, it means believing that even if we leave home alone, the world does not have to feel lonely.
Over the years, I have spoken with travelers of different ages who have told me how much they would love to explore another country, sit in a small café somewhere they have never been, taste unfamiliar food, and experience another culture for themselves.
But somewhere between dreaming of the adventure and actually booking the ticket, uncertainty sneaks in. Will I feel lonely? What if I stumble over the language? How do I meet people when everyone else seems paired up?
I understand these questions because travel has taught me what it means to be somewhere alone.
I know them well, since travel has shown me that being alone and feeling alone are very different. I have sat at restaurant counters, shared tables with strangers, chatted with fellow passengers on trains, and swapped stories with travelers whose lives crossed mine for just a moment.
Some conversations faded with the last sip of coffee, while others stayed with me long after I returned home. Sometimes, a simple smile or a shared interest sparked a conversation between two people who had never met before.
When I hear people consider their first solo trip abroad, I wonder if we have created myths that make solo travel seem scarier than it is. Maybe the real question is not whether we will meet people, but whether we are open to starting those first conversations.
Myth 1: I Will Be Far From Home and Unable to Connect With Other Travelers
This is one of the concerns I hear most often. You arrive in an unfamiliar city, check into your hotel, close the door, and suddenly realize that everyone you normally talk to is thousands of miles away.
For someone accustomed to traveling with a spouse, a family member, a friend, or an organized group, that first evening alone can feel very different. But solo travel does not have to mean spending the trip alone.
In fact, traveling by yourself can sometimes make conversations easier. People traveling together naturally focus on each other, while someone traveling alone can appear more approachable.
Sitting at a café counter or a communal table can make it easier to meet people. Someone might ask where you are from, you could ask another traveler what they ordered, or a conversation might start just by asking if a seat is free. I have learned that being in places where conversations happen naturally makes all the difference.
Eating breakfast in the hotel dining room, sitting at a restaurant counter, or joining a walking tour, cooking class, or food tour creates opportunities to meet people who already share an interest in the place you are experiencing.
Not every meeting will lead to a deep conversation, and some days will be quieter than others. If you are new to solo travel, planning one social activity early in your trip can help you adjust. By the end of a walking or food tour, you might pick up restaurant tips, new ideas for exploring, or even an invitation for the next day. Now, I see my hotel room as a place to rest, knowing the adventure begins again each time I go out.
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Myth 2: My Lack of Foreign Language Skills Will Make Solo Travel Difficult
Language is one of the most understandable concerns about international travel. People worry about ordering food, buying a train ticket, asking for directions, or dealing with an unexpected situation when everyone around them speaks a language they do not understand.
Language can also shape how welcomed, confident, and independent a traveler feels, which is why this concern often runs deeper than simple vocabulary. It affects how someone reads signs, asks for help, follows instructions, and begins conversations with people they meet along the way.
Language barriers are real, and ignoring them does not help anyone getting ready for international travel. Still, communication is more than just words. A smile, a gesture, a map, a menu, or a translation app can solve many daily situations. Learning a few simple, useful phrases can make starting a conversation much easier. These small tools help travelers move from feeling unsure to connecting with others.
Technology has made it much easier to overcome language barriers, but I still think it is helpful to learn a few words before I arrive. Simple phrases like hello, please, thank you, excuse me, and good morning may seem basic, but they show that I am a guest and that I am making an effort.
Even a few words can make daily interactions feel more welcoming and open the door to
friendlier moments.
There is something special about two people trying to connect when neither speaks the other's language well. Sometimes we point, sometimes we laugh, and sometimes we mispronounce words and try again. Most of the time, we figure it out together, and that shared effort turns the moment into a memory instead of a problem.
When I think about the travel conversations I remember most, I rarely recall if the grammar was perfect. I remember the person. Downloading an offline translation app, saving your hotel address on your phone, and learning a few local phrases can ease a lot of worry. Food can be its own language, too.
Sometimes, asking, “What do you recommend?” can lead not only to a new meal, but also to a conversation you did not expect. In this way, language is not just something to manage; it can also help us connect.
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Myth 3: Everyone Else Is Traveling With Someone
Sometimes, when we walk into a restaurant alone, we notice every couple, family, and group of friends. For a moment, it can feel like we are the only person there without someone across the table. Of course, that is not true. Solo travelers are everywhere, but we do not always see them. They might be sitting at a café, walking through a museum, waiting for a train, exploring a market, or joining the same tour as us.
I now see solitude differently. Sitting alone lets me notice more: how people move, what dishes are served, and the unique rhythm of a place. I am open to surprises, but I do not have to talk to everyone. There is a quiet freedom in choosing when to join others and when to enjoy my own company.
Where you sit matters, too. Counters, communal tables, busy cafés, food halls, and markets often feel more welcoming to solo travelers than formal dining rooms. Sometimes, the way a place is set up encourages conversation. Sitting next to someone, instead of across from an empty chair, can turn a simple question about a dish or a neighborhood into the start of something new.
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Myth 4: I Am Too Old—or Too Young—to Travel Solo
People sometimes think solo travel is only for a certain age group. We picture young backpackers in Europe or retired travelers exploring after years of work. In reality, it is much more varied. Solo travelers come from all generations and backgrounds, and they travel for many different reasons.
A twenty-five-year-old might be traveling between jobs, someone in their forties could be chasing a long-held dream, and a traveler in their sixties or seventies may finally have time to explore at their own pace. Age does not matter much when two travelers connect. I have talked with people much younger and older than me, and the connection rarely starts with age. It usually begins with a place, a meal, a journey, or a simple question.
The real question is not about age, but about finding a travel style that suits you. You can choose your accommodations, transportation, activity level, trip length, and daily pace. One person might love backpacking and hostels, while another prefers a comfortable hotel and a slower schedule. The freedom comes from creating your own version of solo travel.
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Myth 5: If I Travel Alone, I Will Feel Lonely
This might be the most personal myth, because loneliness is real. There will be times on a solo trip when you wish someone familiar was there to share the moment. You might see something beautiful and look for a companion, only to remember you are alone.
We do not have to pretend these moments do not happen. Still, loneliness and solitude are not the same, and solo travel can still bring connection.
Solitude gives us something valuable: the chance to really notice where we are. Without anyone else's schedule, we can spend extra time in a museum, change plans whenever we want, revisit a favorite restaurant, or just sit and watch the world go by. These quiet moments can lead to connection, because when we are not busy talking with someone we know, we notice the people around us more.
You do not have to find a new best friend in every city. Sometimes, a five-minute chat can brighten your whole day. A few words over breakfast or a quick exchange while waiting for a train may seem small, but these moments often become the stories we remember most when we get home.
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Three Smaller Myths That Deserve a Second Look
Other worries might not stop us from traveling, but they still affect our choices. One is the idea that eating alone will always feel awkward. It might feel strange at first, especially if we usually think of restaurants as places for company, but where we sit can change the experience.
Sitting at the counter, near the open kitchen, or at a communal table can turn dining alone into a chance to join in. Instead of feeling left out, I can watch the restaurant in action, see what others order, and feel part of the room.
Another myth is that I have to plan every detail, since there is no one else to help if something goes wrong. Preparation is important, especially when traveling alone, but too much planning can take away the freedom that makes solo travel special. I like to know where I am staying, how to get there, my basic transport options, and how to find help, but I also leave room for surprises. My best travel memories often came from things I could not have planned.
A third myth is that talking to strangers will always feel awkward or forced. Sometimes it does, but travel gives us the perfect icebreaker: the place we are both in. Asking if someone has tried a certain dish, visited before, or where they are going next does not require a clever line. The shared experience of travel is already a reason to start talking.
Creating Opportunities for Connection
If travel has taught me anything, it is that the most meaningful encounters never appear on an itinerary. We can book flights, reserve hotels, and buy train tickets, but we cannot plan who will sit next to us at breakfast or who will start a conversation while we wait for coffee. We cannot predict who will point us to a hidden restaurant we might have missed. What we can do is leave space for these moments to happen.
Markets give us something to talk about right away through food, small cafés let us watch daily life, and walking tours bring strangers together through shared curiosity about a place. I also think there is value in slowing down.
When we rush from one landmark to another, we might see more sights but miss real moments. Going back to the same café the next day can lead to a familiar face, and asking about a local dish might reveal a story no guidebook mentions. Connection often grows when we give it time.
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The Heart of the Story
Maybe the biggest myth about solo travel is the one we do not say out loud: that starting the journey alone means the whole story will be ours alone. My experience has been the opposite.
The people I meet become part of my journey, sometimes for an afternoon, sometimes just for a meal, or even just for a short conversation before a train leaves.
We can carefully choose a destination and plan how to get there, but we can never fully predict who will be part of the experience. The person sitting next to us at breakfast might tell us about a place we never thought to visit. A restaurant owner might share the story behind a dish we almost skipped.
Another traveler might talk about where they have been, where they are going next, and why they chose to travel. These encounters may be brief, but that does not mean they are unimportant.
Letting go of solo travel myths does not mean we stop feeling fear. There will still be unfamiliar places, confusing moments, language barriers, quiet nights, and days when plans fall apart. Maybe the real goal is to get comfortable with uncertainty, take that first step, and stay curious about what comes next.
Book the ticket, but leave room in your plans. Step out of your hotel and spend time where people gather. Sit at the counter. Walk through the market. Try something new. Ask the person next to you where they are from, and really listen to their story.
Somewhere between the people we meet, the meals we share, the cultures we begin to understand, and the stories we bring home, something changes. The solo journey becomes a collection of moments woven together with people we never expected to meet.
We might leave home alone, but we rarely come back with a story that is only ours.
Dirk Ebener is the founder and creator behind the Food Blogger Journey website, and author of “Travel That Makes Sense”, drawing on over 40 years of international travel across more than 60 countries. His global adventures have deepened his understanding of regional cuisines, local customs, and the powerful connection between food and culture. From bustling street markets in Asia to quiet vineyard dinners in Europe, Dirk captures authentic culinary experiences through immersive storytelling. Through Food Blogger Journey, he invites readers to explore the world one dish and step at a time.
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